Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Extracurricular Activities

So... Soul Calibur 5.  


I don't have many PS3 games, really.  I tended to sell some to Gamestop when I wanted a new one, but I've basically hit the point now where the only games I have left are the few I never want to get rid of, like Arkham City, Little Big Planet 2 and Fallout 3.  Occasionally, I sell one that I later regret.  Soul Calibur 4 was one of those games.  In Soul Calibur 4, even your create-a-characters had endings.  And that's something I've wanted for as long as I can remember.  And you could have like 30 create-a-characters, which is incredibly dope.  And you could play Vader.  Vader.  But I sold it, because I knew Soul Calibur 5 was coming out this year.


What a mistake.


The fighting and graphics in 5 are top-notch.  And you can have 50... 50... create-a-characters.  I'd just like to point out that I don't even play these games, when I can instead make character after character.  Rather, I play them just long enough to unlock all the stuff I need to make characters.  I used to buy the wrestling games just to make thirty wrestlers, and then I would put them all in a Royal Rumble.  I wouldn't even play in it.


There are even options to add patterns and stickers to them.  Patterns and stickers.


So what's the problem?  There are no endings.  None.  Not even for the game characters.  There is a story mode, in which you are forced to play a couple of characters you care nothing about, and you get to watch movies of these characters you care nothing about.  There is an Arcade Mode, but the only incentive you have to play it is to try and beat it faster than you beat it last time.  That's it.  There isn't even a fun tactical mode, like there has been in previous incarnations.  The game is more or less solely appealing to people who want to fight online, and honestly, screw that.  People online are jerks.  If I wanted to play against obnoxious thirteen-year-olds online, I'd buy an X-Box and play Call of Duty.  There is a reason I bought a Playstation:  I don't like to play against people.  Unless they're sitting next to me.  But that requires friends.


Fighting games, no matter what, need to have CGI endings.  'Nuff said.  The new Tekken Tag will be out soon, and if there aren't CGI endings, I'll swear off fighting games for good.


Oh, and here's another fun fact:  The stuff you unlock as you redundantly play through the game over and over?  It's almost entirely comprised of stuff that you unlocked in the last game.  That's right.  Though the character graphics look crisper, it's hard to ignore the fact that, down to their faces, they look exactly like they did in the last game, only now, you know, they have patterns and stickers.


So, anyway, I've still made like forty characters in Soul Calibur 5 (the entire roster of Super U, a couple of which you can see here in the strip), but it looks like this one's going to be a seller.  If you were considering buying Soul Calibur 5... don't.


Lastly, you may have seen on FB that the strip almost didn't come out this week.  My trial of Illustrator was up, and my attempts to bypass it were unsucessful.  But, at literally the eleventh hour, I found my copy of Illustrator CS and a serial number.  Probably not its serial number, but a serial number nonetheless.  So future strips may not look as crisp as some of the previous strips have looked, but hey, in the end, they're just silly cartoons.


-Matt






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